101 Moments of the Aliens
by Kasta Evanson
Summary: The title says it all. This clearly isn't going well.
1. Ducky's CPR

**A/N: 1st Fic EVA! Hope I can be as good as Sky… (In which there is no chance!) Yes, she's mah sista and this is where one of our differences lie. Haha. Moments of the Aliens! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. I wish I owned something. I really do. I wanna own something other than a duck. I own nothing. But the duck.**

Vibrations shook the floor of the huge spaceship, as the two opponents were practically destroying it. "Is that all you got Squidface?" Rath, one of Ben Tennyson's aliens, taunted. He charged forward in rage, wanting to beat the heck outta Vilgax, and keep him away from Earth. Forever. The prodigious green alien had tried to take over the world multiple times but was always defeated somehow.

"Not even close…" Vilgax threw something something small and yellow at his opponent.

The tiger-looking alien put up his fist to defend himself in case it was a tiny bomb of some sort that was meant to destroy him and whatnot. He waited for a long while with his eyes sealed shut, and when nothing what-so-ever happened, Rath looked at Vilgax, confused. "What was that? It didn't even do anything!"

The green squid-like creature replied simply," A duck." He crossed his arms proudly.

Rath raised one large, orange eyebrow in suspicion. He knelt down beside the tiny yellow animal, and stared blankly. Still confused. "A duck, huh?" There was a long pause as he continued to just simply stare. "…OH MY GOD YOU KILLED IT!" Rath lifted the small creature up in his huge paws and began pushing lightly in the middle of its body screaming, repeatedly, as loud as his voice could manage. "CPR!" He continued doing this until he realized it was already gone. Dead. "Noooo!" He lay the tiny body down.

"It's not real, pea-brain." Vilgax rolled his bold red eyes. "It's just some stuffed thing I saw floating out here in the middle of nowhere, probably from a spaceship that blew up a couple years ago. It's a stuffed animal duck. And I was planning on you turning into Swampfire or whatever and roasting it so I could eat it later!" Obviously upset, Vilgax sat down on the floor of the ship, and pouted, arms crossed and pushed tightly against his chest.

Rath let out a sigh. He shrugged, grabbed the duck, and started walking towards the door of the ship to go meet Gwen and Kevin at Mr. Smoothy.

**A/N: Yup. Short & Sweet. That's how Sky & I like it. R&R plz. First 1 so I hope 2 get better, and put more deets into it, but this is all I got 4 rite now. Kay BYYYEEEEE**

**~Kass**


	2. Mah Squidz

A/N: Ok, so I got seriously bored! This is just a randomly stupid one I got off of a GREAT app. Ok, here we go.

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Except…well…ok, I own nothing. **

Ben, Gwen, and Kevin sat at a table at Mr. Smoothy playing Rock Paper Scissors. "Alrighty, Gwen. It's just you, me, and this, as Kevin calls it, a Turnip and Wheat Grass Smoothy," he mumbled, half to himself. Then said more cheerfully," With Ginger!" The brunette laughed, then thought really hard, wondering what Gwen would choose. Rock. Gwen would choose Rock for sure.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors! OH! And it's a tie!" Kevin announced, like the reporter on the radio from the sports channel. Ben was saying NOT to pick rock so much; he accidentally made his play as rock! "Try again, guys!"

The two opponents began thinking once again. The cousins each put their fists in their palms to signal that they were ready for the showdown. "Rock, Paper, Sci-" Kevin's call was cut short, courtesy to a huge crash in the parking lot.

"Man! Not another salesperson!" Ben complained, totally annoyed. He put down his smoothie, and darted over to stand directly in front of the shuttle. "WE DON'T WANT YOUR DANG PRODUCTS!" The ship didn't leave. The small brown haired teen lifted his wrist up. He hit the watch he'd had since he was 10, and his human form was gone. Instead, Ben was replaced with a blue alien with wings.

Suddenly, an unexpected guest stepped out of the shuttle. "Hello, Tennyson," a voice boomed.

"_Vilgax!_ Why is it always Mr. Smoothy? Why not destroy Kevin's place or something?" He whined.

Kevin gave the blue alien a death glare. "Don't even go there, Tennyson!"

Ben, as Big Chill, just rolled his eyes. "What is it this time, Vilgax? Did you come back for the Omnitrix _again_? Look, I alrea-" the squid-like alien stabbed his sword into the ground viciously. Ben, already transformed into Big Chill, froze him to the pavement, but Vilgax easily got out of that. Time to go Ultimate Big Chill. He had much more power as an ultimate, and froze everything around Vilgax. Now the huge green creature couldn't move.

Ben, still as Big Chill, smiled.

"Dis mah squidz. Dun worry. He'z kewl."

A/N: ok, that one is killer if u c da pic that goes with it on my iPod Touch. Alrighty. That wuznt a very good 1, but I just luffed dat app, and the pic. haha R&R pweash! 3


	3. Skittles

A/N: ok, here's another 1. Kinda like a Car Argument (by Sky) but different. They're just in a car. Another moment! Ok, so here it goes.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all. But I should own something. Don't you agree? Yes. Of course you do. **

"Take that…And that! Ha!" Ben lay on his bed turning in every direction, playing his Sumo Slammers video game. His phone broke out in a funky ring tone, meaning it was Gwen. "Hello, Gwen. What do you want? I'm trying to play a game here, so make it snappy…" He turned his attention back to the screen, his mind set on beating the game. "Mhm…U-huh…Sure…Whatever…"

"BEN! Are you even listening to a thing I'm saying?"

"U-huh…"

"Oh, really? What did I just tell you to do?"

"Something,"

"You annoy the crap outta me, ya' know that? I said we're right outside your house, so get your butt down here. Charmcaster's back,"

Ben let out a long sigh. The brunette hung up before his cousin could say anymore. He slowly walked to get his jacket, then out the door and down the driveway to meet Kevin and Gwen. He _really_ didn't want to go, so he came up with a quick plan to get out of it. His quick thinking saved him. A lot.

"Hurry up, Benji!" Kevin called, after telling his girlfriend in the passenger seat to roll down the window.

"I'm coming! God, take a chill pill!" He got in the car, and searched the pocket behind Gwen's shotgun seat for his candy stash. A strong green light flashed in the back seat, and Ben was transformed into Upchuck. He gulped a couple packages of Skittles down, followed by some chocolate bars.

The driver's eyes widened. "Don't you dare, Tennyson…" Kevin slowed the car, and demanded Ben got out. "Now, and don't make me push you, 'cause I won't be stopped when I do!" Kevin threatened the short alien.

Ben, still Upchuck, didn't mind the threats. He did exactly what Kevin was afraid he would do. The seat next to him was suddenly sticky and rainbow, courtesy of the Skittles he had shoved down his throat.

Once again, Ben transformed. This time, he turned into a red alien with light green eyes, also known as Jetray. He stepped out of the car.

"Now, I will get out." Ben laughed, and then flew off into the distance.

"I can't believe he just did that to your car, Kevin!" Gwen looked at the raven-haired teen.

"I can't believe he gulped down that many Skittles!" Kevin stared, amazed at the sight in the backseat.

**A/N: This is probably gunna be the longest they'll get, unless I get into HUGE details. Ok, I know it was short, definitely not the best, but plz R&R! **** Kay BYYYYEEEEEE  
**

**~Kass**


	4. Peas

**A/N: LOL I luv this one! Enjoy! ;)**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except the peas. I own the peas.

A short, white and green alien stood at Kevin's feet as he worked on his beloved 1963 Chevy Camaro. "Do you like peas?" the robotic voice asked over and over again, not letting the older teen forget that he was there. " Kevin Ethan Levin, Do you like peas?" Echo-Echo asked, getting quite frustrated at this point. He let out a big, heaving sigh, obviously aggravated.

"Sure! I like peas, now shut it Tennyson!" The teen under the car replied, tossing his tools around, and feeling around for a wrench. His face was turning red under the car, and he was extremely annoyed.

"So you like peas too!" Ben's face lit up like a Christmas tree. He smiled as he waited for a reply from the older teen.

"Sure, I like peas. Ok? Are you freaking happy now?" Kevin slid out from under the green automobile. "If you don't mind now, I'm trying to get this laser to-"

"Ah. I see. You like peas too..." The small alien continued on about the tiny sphere-shaped vegetable.

This time there was no reply from the older teen except for an annoyed groan. Or maybe that was an invitation to continue on about peas...?

"So... These peas... Do you-"

"CAN IT!"

"Oh! I see! You like canned peas!"

**A/N: Been thinkin bout this one for awhile, just never really got around to writing it! Hahaha. HOT THAT BUTTON RITE DOWN THERE! yeah, I'll lub choo fo'evaaa! Kthxbai LOL**

~Kass


	5. EchoEcho Bugging Kevin

A/N: here ya go! A moment of the aliens everyone! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

A tall, dark-haired teen slid out from under a 1963 Chevy Camaro. The light green paint peeled off the hood just enough to make Kevin freak out and scream like a little fan girl. He started repairing the lasers, and before he knew it, Ben was standing there. Just waiting. Watching. Always.

A green light flashed rightly, temporarily blinding Kevin. He put his large hand up to eyes to try to keep the light out of his eyes. "Whatch'ya doin'?" an echo-like voice asked.

"Fixing my car. So go away."

"No."

"Ben, go away before I hurt you. Bad."

"No."

"Ben, I suggest you leave. Now."

Echo-Echo hung his head and pretended to walk out of the garage, but tiptoed back in without the older one noticing. Like Kevin was going to win this battle! The brunette rolled his eyes sarcastically. "OOOOO! What's this Kevin?" In his hand, Ben held a wrench, and he was twirling it around in his skinny fingers.

"Ben!" Kevin whined. "Go away! I'm working on my ride!"

"Does it look like I care?" Echo-Echo asked, seeming distracted. Too distracted…

Kevin glanced outside from under the side of the car to find the puny white alien picking off some neon green paint off the hood of the car. Kevin jumped up from under the car and ran over to Ben. "Cut it out!" He absorbed the concrete on the floor of the garage and picked up the alien by his scrawny little neck before tossing him on the ground. Kevin turned back to normal and knelt down beside his beloved car. He inspected the paint job carefully before there was a little tap on his shoulder. Ben. "What?" Kevin asked, annoyed.

"There's another one right there," he pointed to another spot on the hood.

Kevin's eyes widened and his pupils shrunk. He let out a long groan and threw his head back. "Ben, just go away…"

"NO!"

Kevin just put his hands up in surrender and walked back to his car. It only took a few minutes before Ben was back.

"I found another problem with your car…"

"GO AWAY BEN!"

"You can't tell me what to do! You're just Kevin!"

'Just Kevin who can kick your butt in ping-pong…' Kevin thought.

"Besides. I wanna know what this is!"

Kevin glanced over his shoulder to find Ben with some needle-nose pliers, plucking his eyebrows. "Dear God…" Kevin sighed and let him go. He'd learn eventually. Eventually.

"OWWWWW! Kevin! You're tweezers hurt! Gwen's tweezers don't hurt as bad!" the tiny alien suddenly got an evil little smirk on his face. "So, Kevin… When are ya' gonna ask Gwen out?" Echo-Echo started rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Don't go there, Tennyson."

"Today?" the younger teenager pulled a tiny calendar out of his pocket and started looking through his schedule. "That work's for me! What time…?"

Kevin heaved a big sigh. When would Ben's tiny brain learn? Never. That's when. Because Ben had no brain, just an acorn. A tiny, little acorn that has been eaten away by that little squirrel Gwen was always talking about. "Ben, I'm not asking Gwen out. I told you that already. About a million times."

"Well, let's not make it a million and one!" Ben sighed too. "JUST ASK HER OUT ALREADY, PEA-BRAIN!" Echo-Echo covered his mouth. "Erm… I mean… Kev, buddy!" The alien tried to cover for himself. It didn't work. At all. He let out a friendly chuckle and held out his hand. "Friends? Heehee…"

The dark-haired teen frowned and grabbed the other's hand. He launched Ben over his shoulder and tossed him to the ground. "I'm not going to ask Gwen out. So just drop it, Tennyson." Kevin pinned him to the ground, making sure Echo-Echo couldn't get up.

Footsteps outside indicated that Gwen was in the entrance to the garage. Kevin felt his cheeks turn red and he got light-headed. He felt like he could fall over right there in the garage. He felt like an idiot and a fool. What would Gwen say? Would she question him to no end? Would Ben ruin it if she felt the same way? Or would Kevin screw it up by saying the wrong thing? He heard her gasp, and he braced himself for the worst. "Why is Ben on the floor, Kevin?"

A/N: Sorry, it didn't turn out the way I had hoped. At all. So sorry! Enjoy anyways! And leave a review please! Thanks!

**~Kass**


	6. Machowave

**A/N: Okayy, thought this was hilarious. Saw it on an app for my iTouch. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Ownn nothinn3**

A 1963 Chevy Camaro pulled into Ben Tennyson's driveway, the green and black car shining due to the suns' rays. The driver's side door opened, revealing Kevin Levin. Then the passenger door opened and Gwen Tennyson stepped out with her hand up to her forehead to block the sun from her glistening emerald eyes. The two walked towards the door and twisted the knob expecting the door to be unlocked. Kevin jiggled the knob for a while before becoming annoyed. No, that was an understatement, he got extremely pissed off.

"Ben! Open the door!" Gwen called, peering inside to see if Ben was asleep on the couch or something. "Ben!"

"Tennyson, you better open the door before I do it my way." The ex-con threatened, absorbing the concrete that held them up. He twisted the material into a sledgehammer with his powerful hands and warned the other teen standing alongside him to stay back.

"Kevin, don't! He'll answer the door if he's home." Gwen reassured, trying to convince herself. They already checked Julie's house, and he hardly ever went to Mr. Smoothy by himself. "Benjamin Kirby Tennyson, open this door right now!" the redhead threatened her cousin.

Kevin got fed up and eventually lost it. His concrete hand hit the door, and it fell to the floor, making a cloud of dust fill the entryway. The twosome stormed into the house, screaming two different things at once, making it nearly impossible to make out what either was saying.

"SHHUUUSSSSSHHHHHHH! Be quiet!" A voice came from the kitchen. "You will disturb him." The voice was a mere whisper and barely audible.

Kevin and Gwen looked at each other, both puzzled. They continued on, into the kitchen, Gwen prepared to give all she had at the possible menace. Gwen had her manna ready, and Kevin was still in his armor. They peeked into the room only to find a ridiculous sight.

Humungousaur was sitting in a rocking chair (Gwen and Kevin have no idea where that came from.), holding his microwave. "Machowave, Machowave, go to sleep my Machowave! Machowave, Machowave…"

Kevin slammed his human fist onto the kitchen counter in annoyance. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? WE STOOD AT YOUR DOOR WAITING FOR 5 MINUTES WHILE YOU WERE SINGING TO YOUR MICROWAVE?"

"He's not a microwave, Kevin! Now settle down, you're hurting his feelings!" Humungousaur said defensively. "And you stood out there for a mere 6 minutes and 34 seconds. I timed it on my machowave."

Gwen looked to Kevin and mouthed 'Machowave?'

Kevin just shrugged, not even really caring. He just wanted to slaughter Ben now. And then do a victory dance. Yes… A victory dance would be nice…

"Ben, why didn't you open the door?" Gwen asked, crossing her arms.

"Couldn't you tell? I was rocking my machowave to sleep, stupid! Gosh guys, you should really think more about other people and their feeling rather than your own all the time." The huge alien glanced up at them, petting his microwave.

"And what exactly is a machowave?" Gwen asked, still hooked on finding out what her cousin was talking about.

"My microwave was feeling puny, so I started calling him a machowave."

**A/N: Review PLEASE! 3 Thankies!**


	7. Kevin is Retarded?

**A/N: car rides give you the best ideas! Lol. Allrighty, here's another moment of the aliens!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A dark blue alien paced the large garage that had been destroyed multiple times. Kevin was under his car, fixing something that Ben didn't care about. The dark-haired teen rolled out from under his beloved 1963 Chevy Camaro, searching for a wrench of some sort.

Spidermonkey climbed over the hood of the car, and waited for Kevin to come back. As the older boy returned, Ben stared without blinking with bright green eyes. His blue tail flicked, and his eye twitched. As Kevin rolled back under the green car, Ben continued to stare at the other's face. He had to turn upside-down to follow Kevin, and he mumbled something to himself before raising his voice. "Mhm. Just as I thought." Ben nodded his head and began stroking his imaginary beard. His eyes were narrowed, and he looked serious.

"Did that hurt?" Kevin didn't look up, but he chuckled to himself.

The younger teen stopped stroking his imaginary beard for a moment, giving Kevin the death glare. "MY HYPOTHESIS WAS CORRECT!" Ben started clapping, jumping around, making monkey noises, and celebrating. He looked like a moron.

"What hypothesis? That you're stupid?"

"No."

"That you're full of yourself?"

"No."

Kevin shot a death glare at Ben. "Then what?"

"That even from this angle, you are _still_ retarded."

**A/N: yeah, I could've done better... Didn't exactly turn out the way I'd hoped… Anywho, review please!(:**


	8. Roomba

A/N: Hello Jell-O! Kass here with another Moment of the Aliens! I really missed Greymatter there for a while... And he's kind of cute to screw with. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I want a rooooomba. :D ...Own nothing... .

Crowded around Gwen's laptop, the trio began laughing maniacally. Ben had discovered some genius new website, "". He had eventually persuaded the rest of the team, Gwen and Kevin, to read some of the FMAL's with him. Out of pure annoyance, they agreed. But they still wouldn't admit how right Ben was about the site.

"That's so hilariously stupid! How can you just forget that your in the Null Void and ask for directions to the shopping mall?" Gwen placed a hand over her mouth, and draped her other arm across her slim stomach. She burst out laughing, nearly falling off the couch and sending her laptop plummeting to the floor. The redhead scrolled down with her wireless mouse and began reading more FMAL's.

Kevin pointed at the screen, gasping for breath. "These aliens are so stupid!" The teenager fell off of the arm of the couch and began slapping his palm against the hardwood flooring.

As Ben began to breathe again, he slowly made his way to the kitchen for some juice.

In the living room, Kevin and Gwen continued to read. Gwen quoted, "Today, I learned that my daughter's Galvan's aren't afraid of the vacuum. FMAL." They both exploded in uncontrollable laughter. Kevin fell off the couch again, and Gwen started kicking her legs around in the air, knocking her apple juice off the coffee table.

The brunette walked back into the room, rushing over the see what the two were laughing so crazily about. As soon as Ben began reading once more, he did a spit take and started scrolling through the comments as tears of laughter came to his eyes. He read the comment out loud. "My Vulpimancer likes to attack our Roombas. It's quite funny to watch!" Ben then slapped his knee and said, "Did you hear that guys?" he choked on his spit. "Their Vulpimancer attacks their rats!" He started laughing like a maniac again.

Kevin gave him a dumbfounded look. "Do you even know what a Roomba is?" He managed in between gasps for air.

"Absolutely... Not. I haven't the slightest. Not a clue. No idea."

"A Roomba is one of those vacuums that just cleans by itself by going around-" Kevin began to explain.

A green light flashed in front of them as Ben transformed into one of his older aliens. Greymatter. "Hey look guys! I'm a Roomba!"

Kevin stood from the floor and walked to a closet down the hall. He returned moments later with a vacuum hose. He flicked the switch and vacuumed the tiny alien into the giant machine. He chuckled before returning to the couch with Gwen.

The two continued to scroll down and read laughing while the vacuum gave their teammate a concussion.

A/N: I love my FML app. And to the person who wrote that... Thank you for that near-death experience.


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